Physics Lesson in Use

I love my friends. I really do. They're the kind of people who you can sit down and have a long conversation with and never ever get bored. In high school the topics ranged from theoretical physics to music; from video games to sex. Today, I give you a great example (combining all of the above) that we really haven't come that far, and it truly makes me wonder if our species is evolving at all. Some NSFW content here.

J: Les Ball: An act related to the famed "Donkey Punch" Instead of one's fist, a '57 Gibson Gold-Top is used as the instrument of delivery.

L: WTF

J: Y'know... Like a donkey punch, only you smack her in the face with a Les Paul instead.

L: Omfg! I can read... Lol

R: why would you be taking a woman from behind with a guitar in your hand?

J: Clearly sir, you are not Rockstar enough... Why not?

J: Haven't you ever wanted to get your rocks off while getting your rock on?

K: Better question...why would you damage a perfectly good Les Paul? Wal-Mart sells acoustics for $20 or so, you'll get a much more satisfying splintering effect upon impact, and you can stockpile them easily for those long cold winter nights.

P: This is what I have to live with

L: lol poor p-.. i know j- has his moments too.. silly boys

P: BOY being the operative word

J: Because a vintage Les Paul weighs close to 15lbs and she'd just laugh as a walmart acoustic splintered over her head.

J: ‎... And also because... Why the he'll would you even have a walmart acoustic??

K: Why, to smack my bitch up, of course! It's about leverage, momentum, and velocity...and a good stockpile.

C: And this is exactly where all those physics lessons went to. lmao

J: Well, clearly the more massive Les Paul would retain more inertia and transfer more kinetic energy to the dear lady's head, but the acoustic being lighter would travel at greater velocity.

C: So, the question is, would you rather kill her or just knock her out?